Cramps
by ThePowerOfFriendship
Summary: E/O 'Friday the 13th'. Sometimes, Dean shouldn't touch anything.
1. Chapter 1

Friday the 13th never meant anything good for the Winchesters. Dean had been curled up on a motel bed, groaning ever since they got back from a hunt with a fertility goddess.

"Dude, I have the worst ...cramps." Dean said, screwing up his face.

"Bad burger? "Sam said from his book.

Suddenly, Deans face slackened. Sam looked up. "Dean? You alright?"

Dean could only shake his head no. He slowly sat up and Sam then noticed the blood puddle on the bed.

"Dean, where are you bleeding and why did you not tell me? "

"Because I started my period."

A/N: I had this cute little fic idea from a fem!Dean story. Imagine Sam on a pad run -for his brother XD! R&R ..if theres good feedback, there might be a follow up chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Due to a couple requests, Im continuing this E/O. YAY! Deans on his period XD.

The POV could switch between Sam and Dean, but you guys can keep up.

Dean was sitting on the toilet, holding a box of tissues. Sam had shoved him in here after he confirmed Dean was, in fact, menstruating. He wasnt even sure why he had tissue.

"Bobby? "Dean heard.

Fuck. Not Bobby.

Dean got off the toilet and pushed the door out. Sam was on his laptop with his cell phone between his ear and his shoulder.

"So, you dont know? Well, alright..." Sam said. He hung up and turned to Dean.

"Bobbys never heard of anything like this concerning fertility goddesses, but hell tell us if he sees anything. At least I think so, he was laughing pretty hard." Sam said, burying his face in his hands.

"So, what do we do now? "Dean asked." Ow! Gah, these cramps hurt like a bitch and a half!"

Sam was thinking, trying to pry back to when Jessica was still alive. "Well, you cant be bleeding all over the place, so Ill drive you to the drugstore-"

"For what?" Dean had a blank look on his face.

Crap. He didnt know. But Sams fears were dismissed when a look of horror slowly crossed Deans face.

"Oh my God, Sam ...I cant wear tampons, theyre too friggin big! Lets at least get pads, I can still see the chick from the diner that way." Dean groaned.

"About that ...Bobby said not to have sex. We dont know if you can get pregnant or not." Sam said, reddening furiously.

"What? I could get pregnant? "Dean said, tears streaming down his face. He then swiped at his face. "Why am I crying? "

"Your hormones. Come on, lets go." Sam said, snatching the keys up.

XXXXXX

Dean sulkily walked behind Sam. It was bad enough it was ten clock and all Dean wanted to do was go shrivel up and die (A/N: Lorax reference ...) but he had Sams plaid shirt around his waist like a skirt.

"Maxi or overnight, dude? I dont know this- and what the hell are wings?" Dean held up a package. Sam glanced up and shrugged.

"Id recommend the Super." a voice said. A young, pregnant woman stood nearby him." Whore you buying for? Daughter? " she said, glancing over at Sam.

"Oh no, were buying for our sister! Samantha! "Dean said nervously.

"Aww! You two must be the best brothers ever, going out so late for her." The woman quickly moved off.

"That was close, wasnt it, Dean? "Sam said, finally picking up a box. "Dean?"

His brother had vanished. Sam moved on to checkout, ignored the pimply teenagers sneer, and went out to the Impala to wait for Dean. He finally came out, holding a large bag.

"What do you have? "Sam asked as soon as he started driving.

"Nothing!" Dean shouted defensively. "You big creep..."

Sam wanted to shoot a witty comeback, but bit his tongue. All he needed was Dean to start crying.

When they got back to the motel room, Dean went to the bathroom while Sam started flipping channels.

" OWW! Sonova -Sammy, how do you put these on? "Dean groaned.

"The side of the box." Sam said plainly, finally settling on some talk show.

Minutes later, Dean emerged in sweats and a t-shirt, holding a pie tin.

"Hey. Oprah, huh? My God, shes inspirational ..." he said, sitting on the bed next to his brother and starting in on the pie.

"Is that what you bought? "

"Shh! Its that episode where she talks to that lady who got her face eaten by some monkey."

Dean was quiet, save for the scraping of his fork against the box, until a commercial came on for tampons.

"Oh my God. Why the hell is she twirling in that long-ass skirt? Shes not that happy, shes friggin bleeding. Oh great, now shes riding a damn bike and swimming! Swimming for Gods sake! "

Sam felt it would be a long night. And it was.

When he found Dean eating a can of Spam mixed with peanut butter cups- " By the demons of chocolate and salt, you will let me eat this, Sam! "

When Dean was puking- "Sammy, are you supposed to puke?"

When Dean found Sam trying to leave at one a.m.- "Oh my God, Sammy, you dont care about me AT ALL! "

When Sam was taking vigil by Deans bed- " You stalker freak! "

Finally, at five a.m., Sam had caught some sleep until he woke up with Dean laying in his bed.

"Sam, Im lonely."

"Get up. Were going to Bobbys."

A/N: Hopefully, I ended on a funny note. Hey, if anyone can find the Nostalgia Critic reference, Ill accept ANY idea for the next chapter, of course agreeing with my rules of

A) No Wincest or Destiel

B) No Mpreg except Dean upset, Sam embarrassed, or Bobby cracking up.


	3. Chapter 3

"Dude, I am starving."

Sam sat behind the wheel of the Impala as Dean bounced out with his duffel bag. Sam was tired of this.

Why couldnt Bobby just brew some potion and have this over with, Sam thought. Dean shoved him over. "Out of the way, Gigantor."

Sam slumped into the seat as Dean tore away from the motel.

It was a blissful two hours of sleep for Sam until Dean slammed on brakes and his face collided with the dashboard.

"Sorry, Sammy -gotta piss! "Dean said as Sam peeled his face from the dash and put a hand to his blackening left eye. Bobby had been sitting on his porch when Dean sprinter past him.

"Well, I see." Bobby said, scratching his head. "I guess well find out if he has all his right ...er..plumbing."

The loud "AUGGGGGH!" from the bathroom was enough an answer as Sam and Bobby walked in.

Dean stumbled into the kitchen, pale and sweaty. "Bobby, weve got a problem. A very bad one."

xxxxxxx

Both Sam and Dean were coughing in the greenish haze rising from the tall pot as Bobby added a few more of the squishy pink things hed been taking from a steaming bowl. Dean had also been chewing a mouthful.

"Mmmmm...Bobby, what is this? Tastes like steak. "Dean said thickly.

"Damn, boy, you goin Rosemarys Baby on us? Those are rat hearts." Bobby said, his voice strangled with disgust and horror.

Dean paused and slowly walked outside.

"Idjit..."Bobby sighed, adding another rat heart to the mix in a mushroom of yellow smoke.

Sam stared into it. The bloody boxers of Deans added earlier bobbed to the surface. "Well, it says thats a ...oh shit." Bobby swore quietly.

"What? "Dean said, coming from outside with his hair and face soaking.

"Im glad you stuck your head in that well, Winchester. Youre gonna need to hear this." Bobby said.

"Its not just a jinx, its a slow acting curse. Youre turning into a woman. As soon as you finish, Sam starts the same cycle."

Sam and Dean stared at the pot, in pure shock.

A/N :Sorry, it was so short for that long wait, but nice cliffhanger huh?


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: SO SORRY! I got caught up in other things and almost completely forgot about this! Alright, Im accepting a reviewer request from...*drum roll*

Keke113! She requested that Dean messes up a hunt. Its a bit more angsty/dramatic then she made it sound but here you go!

Dean had gone numb. Sam tried to help, but Dean was just gruff and grunting. He no longer was mood swinging, just mopey.

Bobby had came down one morning, in only his American flag boxers, carrying a newspaper.

"Jesus, Bobby! Can we eat first? "Dean said, gesturing to his plate.

"Look, it seemed like you needed a boost. Plus I need you idjits out of my hair while I try to find this cure." Bobby said, throwing the clipping onto the table.

"Two hours away from here. A quick haunting in an abandoned maternity hospital. It should be quick and semi-painless."

xxxxxxx

A few hours later, Sam and Dean were standing outside the Helping Hands Maternal Ward.

"The ghost of a fat nurse? Lets gank it." Dean said, sounding a bit more eager to do anything then he had in the last few days.

"You feeling a little trigger happy? "Sam asked as he leaned into the door.

"Dude, I may only have a few more days of masculinity. Might as well enjoy them." Dean said, walking inside and immediately stopping.

The ward was full of middle aged women, talking excessively about spotting and the baby kicking too early.

He had to talk to them...

"Dean!" Sam called from faraway. Dean came back to find himself leaning on the counter to talk to Judy Moore, whoever that was...

Dean turned around. "The women are in here, we cant shoot bullets." Dean said.

Sam made his signature what the hell are you talking about look. "Theres no one in here but us." He started to walk toward the ward.

"Sam, you asshole! "Sam whirled around to see Dean seething. "You want to shoot down a pregnant lady by accident?! "

Sam calmly walked over and grabbed Deans shoulders. "Dean, were alone. Theres no one here but us." Sam said in exasperation.

"Oh really? "Dean said, now in a total anger mindset.

Sam and Dean went into such a furious match of physical and verbal abuse that they didnt notice the pudgy woman in candy stripes creeping behind them.

xxxxxxxx

Bobby Singer was certaintly not a man of peace, normality, but he was all for a nap on the porch with the radio blasting a baseball game.

The Impala tore into the junkyard something loud and awful, yet Bobby didnt wake up until Sam stomped past him, covered in what looked like hospital food vomit.

Dean stormed into the house, his face flushed red and his hand clutching and uncluthcing his gun in hand.

A/N: Again, sorry. My drabbles caught up on me and so did the menustral demon. So I wrote this on my tablet at midnight bleeding like a dead cow. How joyful.


End file.
